I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
