it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
