Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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