just come out here and I will go home with you...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There r osticjed everywhere
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
