I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
