why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
