I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
