Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
4 words: hood of his car
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
