onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
