17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
