Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm at about main and main street
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
