i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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