paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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