So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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