guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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