I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
