I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm at about main and main street
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
