1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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