Your tits are I can't wait for
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
