what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
