We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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