I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
