is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
