dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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