so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
