They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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