ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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