i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
