Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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