Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
