By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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