ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
