I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
