8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
