Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
