Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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