I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
