Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
