That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
