We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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