just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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