I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
