I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
