i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
