I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
being pregnant is like rehab
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
