Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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