North Korea, Best Korea!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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