My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
