I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
