My first STD was from a foam party
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
