Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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