You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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