I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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